All of these are gluten free except the toast. It is used as a natural flavoring but it has been known to cause issues for a lot of people. More power. So please help me, Sounds exactly like Gluten intolerance. To make it perfect drink min. Its fantastic. I had the same incident about 2yrs ago. A) Get your colonoscopy done!! cancer free. VERY dangerous. https://mamanatural.com/magnesium-deficiency/. I need yalls help ! Thinking questran may help as like yellow watery stool around formed stool. Ive been searching for some decent stuff on the subject and havent had any luck up until this point, You just got a new biggest fan!.. Any help appreciated. But if your poop is veering toward other ends of the rainbow, you might want to assess. There is a test the doctor can give you to check to see if you have chronns . When it stops add cut up boilled chicken breast in the rice for a couple of days. I still have a movement once a day, sometimes twice. I realized early on I was lactose intolerant and that in general my body seems to be unable to break down the protein in milk (caisen). Please be sure all foods you are eatting are fresh, not outdated. Im in progress of incorporated no grains along with the low FODMAP, so well see if that helps aid in healing my gut. This signifies constipation and is usually caused by a lack of fiber in your diet, as well as low water intake. When i got home, the numbness in my legs and feet were still an issue. The last part on floating How do I get consistent type 4, daily? It has fascinated toddlers since time immemorial, and theres a reason for that. 1 in the organization for quickness, No. RUDE comment Try a little more tact and humility when offering your opinion. 6. getting tested for food intolerances (do a blood test for this- not a stool test- as it is more accurate). Today he went to the Gi doctor and now they want him to drink a big bottle of Go Lightly omg he is already having panic attacks and his hart is racing. Eating more fiber, drinking more water and washing your butthole with only NATURAL soap, like ivory, is another good way to help those hemmies go away. Taking pulmicort, albuterol, serevent, singular, asa, aciphex. Is there a point to your comment or are you just trying to rub everyones nose into your lovely pooping issues?? Could I know what happen in my bowel and my stool? Why? Change in bowel moment. I lost a lot of blood and had to have a tranfusion as well as iron and shots in my stomach to stimulate red blood cells from my bone marrow. She strains and typically goes every couple of days, but even if she goes every day, its this mixed consistency. Ive always heard that you are supposed to eliminate the amount of times youre eating in a daygenerally 3 times. Also try vegetables too, they are very important. This could be a sign of blood in your upper GI tract. Thank you. Wow, a gallon a day of water? Im 6 yrs out of stage 4 colon cancer. Something serious is happening inside of me because the way I feel is not right at all, but apparently the doctors dont think so so Im getting really really concerned. It is best two or longer so everyone, eat your veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds! Sounds like like an ulcer to me. Include about 35g fiber, such as vegetables, grains & legumes, chianti and ground flax. They can tell by a simple blood test now. 4 on the poop chart, youre right! The color is brown, so I guess thats okay. (I feel somewhat silly posting this having read of some people suffering for years with similar/worse symptoms.). It looks like constipation but from what? So they told him to drink Miralax which he did and he only got nauseated I just sleep til I wake up needing to poop, Constipation can also be linked to suppressed emotions and/or trauma. I have had terrible issues with hemmeroids since giving birth, and my hubs insists my poops are too big in diameter. Shelli, just wanted some advice please as I note that you refer to bugs and bad bacteria are you still posting? For those of you wondering about toddlers, I wanted to point out that youre most likely looking at poop in a diaper, yes? Not pale tan, *white*. (Not a surprise). Also I can not have MSG it travels through my system so fast nothing gets processed 20 minutes I better find a bathroom. The color is brown. You can try cutting your food into smaller pieces til you get replacements. I think perhaps you need to see a Gastroenterologist with regard to your diet. I just got out of the hospital a few weeks back because of that. Says that it is normal that they have a very good digestive system, they are twins and are 12 now and they still have the same poops.Is it normal?? Im on a lot of different meds but its the opiates that are the main problem. This is great. A healthy poop is well formed. There are days when I drank two 8oz one hour apart and the result was outstanding. Help! Its a hard journey but if I can do it anyone can!! I am a 36 yo female w/ asthma & GERD. I told my oncologist and his assistants, and they were excited. Sounds like he may need a water soluble fibre added. Sorry for bad English, email me if you have further questions, and hope that my answer helped!! Hope this helps. Ill skip the details. We really shouldnt be ashamed of what our bodies naturally do. I know many adults whose bowels move at least once a day if not more, and I don't mean diarreah.I have spent the last 4 years of my life researching digestive health and the one constant that I have found no matter where I look is that if your bowels do not move at least once a day, you will suffer from numerous health problems.Slirwin described a bowel movement that was shaped like her intestine and encased in a "sack". I think he should go to the hospital and have them give him a second opinion. I havent drank milk in days and I eat fruits 2-3x a day and eat veggies everyday. Good luck! Freaked me right the hell out when that happened. Healthy horse poop is moist but still looks firm enough to form balls of four to eight inches in diameter. For example, a positive Lupus titer must be accompanied by a false positive VDRL to actually be Lupus. I may have MS. . If anyone has any ideas please email me we are desperate she is very depressed just wants to poop normal this kid has not had a normal life for the last 5 years. I have had good results with the blood type diet. This is a nonsense word used to promote nonsense. I dont know if this is relevant or not, but I havent had my period for the same amount of time, almost as if they coincidebut anyway, do you think they have something to do with each other? The color looks healthy except for some of the blood, but I cant get an accurate description of my poop because of the hemerroids distorting it. I have been a consistent 5 through 7 for going on 15 years now. Where are the answers? Women have odd symptoms of heart problems. Pain when I push my belly button area if I push on my left side under my rib feels slightly better. Google it. I feel you should see a gastrointestinal dr for a second opinion. Indicates: In other words, youve got the runs, or diarrhea. I keep them in every bathroom. They found that after many years of being told (by another Dr) that I had severe Ulcerative Colitis and was dangerously close to losing my colon in exchange for a colostomy bag! She has type one and the doctor has suggested stool softener as needed. Ive been it for a year and half. Start to chew until smooth watery like. For several days my poop is looking like a pile of medium brown mashed potatoes. Again, best comment on here! So ever since then, when i poo, i cant really feel it coming out. I take opiates too and have severe constipation. Turns out nothings wrong with me. Still cant figure out what causes my problem. P.S. Many Dr think that Celiacs suffer from diahrea only but I was the opposite. Im constipated for days its so painful I get horrible cramps heartburn my stomach is huge and hard. How do you ever get all of that down?? But ever since then I cant remember the last time my stools were normal. Poop health . I use to think YAY I have a great metabolism, now not so much. Unfortunately, this you will need to do for the rest of your life, but you will feel so much better. Could it be nerve damage from my fractrured tail bone? Drink goat, almond & coconut milk/ products. That said, pay attention to any signs of blood. The last episode was in november ended near the end of december. Heres a handy poop chart called the Bristol stool chart to help you determine if you have healthy poop. My brother has been going through this exact same situation for 4 months and yes your right, all the doctors do is give you constipation pills and send you away. I cant resist commenting. I found lately if I eat chicken or turkey that is not Organic that I develop both those problems. Good luck! Try Vitamin B6. Even walking doesnt help so if anyone has any ideas PLEASE help. The weird thing is though it only happens first thing at about 2 am till 9 am and it wakes me up. One potential cause of this is . Hi, I have had flu for 1 week when My moms bowel ruptured She did throw up fecal matter. I feel like I cant do anything if I dont feel normal(like having a small amount of gas trapped in my gut), and i studied everything about gut diseases and their symptoms, so that I can check if I have one of those conditions everyday. We thought she healed but hasnt and the middle towards the bottom is hurting . Help!! Usually, it makes bile sludge go through. The video is super helpful. My question is What about size of stool? If your poop appears especially flat or string-like, it will mostly likely go back to its, Doctor may recommend a low fiber diet to help treat certain digestive problems, or before or after surgery. There are many reasons for a period stopping. In this article tea was mentioned as the T in BRAT instead of toast which is incorrect. If you find that your stool is soft, mushy, liquidy, or too frequent, there are several things you can do. Im a #4. It takes between 40 and 60 chews but it pays off. The last 3 years I have been experiencing abdominal bloating/gas, constipation, and lower left pain (appr near left ovary) with worsening symptoms. My bathroom business was a nightmare. If you havent eaten any of the foods mentioned above that could turn your poop this color, talk with a doctor immediately. size poop but becuase I didnt do that I could tell that it was pebble poop but again all compacted , not too badly tho it was enough for me to break it up. Always check side effects of medications..Ive had my share as a result of an autoimmune condition and am now listening to my body. Just make you poop more regularly but not make the poop softer or more regular ? I wiped to check and its definitely from my bum! Corn also causes face rashes. Im on Suboxone as well. Its just who I am and I must accept it and move on. You might consider magnesium citrate. Very informative and educational. And still dont So i delt with it the ways I could. Thanks again!?? She was in ICU for 13 days and finally died. Difficult to say without examination. Ive read the best way to poo is squatting so basically keep those knees up. My doctor gave it to me. That should help it flush more easily and not mark the bowl. Theres no reason to ever be to embarrassed to get medical help. You may have IBS, and GERD, try peppermint oil caps, drink plenty ofwater and take fiber and take a probiotic every day, if it your issues continue then go to a doctor, to be sure. No pain involved. Each category contains a huge variety of species, but a few common culprits are often found in homes in the United States. Ive tried so many laxitives the only thing that really helps me is an enema especially If I cant get it out and the pain becomes so unbearable. But I went a step further and took him down to UCLA ER.they found the problem, he has a huge palyp blocking his colon ( 90% Blockage. ) If your doc says its fine once or twice a week see another doc. Anxiety with bowel movements! She still nurses a lot and eats really healthy. Please go to ER!! How would I be able to tell if its a healthy poop with the hemerroids interfering with the looks of my poop? Then a few days later the same thing. You may need an enema to start things going again and it will all be based upon a physical assessment by a trained medical professional who will perform a thorough physical exam and history and he/she will order the best individualized treatment for you as soon as possible as each case is different and without proper testing, it is not correct to give an armchair diagnosis. Not meaning supplements. I would rather get to the toilet fast, than risk it be more than gas. Going to Dr in a week. Glad you are going there. Ha! And i swear my morning bowel movment had me feeling energetic and mobile it has compelled me to research more into digestive and bowel movements its important to everyday living to get rid of waste from the day before being over weight i wasnt using it daily and was sluggish cause the body was constantly working to remove waste making me overly tired since finding something that works It helps tremendously in that you can wipe yourself and then wash yourself clean before giving a final wipe with toilet paper. I recently was told by my new doctor (I moved) to try the FODMAP diet. Great article!!! Probiotics should be very helpful as they have been with me. I poop only like 1-2x a week! Not runny like when ebf but not hard by any means. Cod liver oil and healthy fats can also keep things moving, and so can soaked chia seeds or other nuts and seeds. Ill be sharing your information with everyone who follows me!! I had never heard of this but when I looked it up online, finally, I had a name to one of my problems. Genevieve Howland is a childbirth educator and breastfeeding advocate. or just coincidental. Then he took bisacodyl and then did an enema and is still not going anything significant. But not everyone can eat toast. We discovered this when my son (now 8) was 2. Avoid highly-processed foods as much as possible of course. I think ive figured out the causes eating fatty food very late the night before. WRT to the excellent video about poop, please consider adding brief discussion on the effects of prescribed medications on ones bowel movements. They are just magnesium, which is what my dr recommended. My grandson is Autistic. I go every three days when I do its allot. It could indicate if youre healthy or have an underlying medical condition. Atkins, keto, paleo, etc., are all fad diets. Nobody knows your body better than you do. But it's not just diet that changes how your poop looks. Indicates: This is the gold standard of poop, especially if its somewhat soft and easy to pass. (n.d.). First and most important thing is, YOU ARE JUST AS HEALTHY AS EVERYONE ELSE. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. @Brian, I can relate. Ive been recommended to add more fiber into your diet and drink more water. He seems to be JUST FINE NOW after at least three years of sufferring and no GP figuring it out!! Otherwise everything is normalexcept the 2 times. Good luck and its very possible you dont have crohns. so every day its all over the chart. I wake up and drink about 500ml to 1ltr of water (room temp or warmish) in the morning until I poo. I dont have any kids, Im only 18& still in highschool. Ive suffered from intestinal issues for 10 years now and when things get out of control I get a bad case of diverticulitis. BRATT (second T stands for tea) and BRATTY (yogurt). If not go any pharmacy they will have it. I was in terrible pain and had to be hospitalised many times to have it mechanically removed. Abdominal pain can be as severe to cause nausea & what feels like hot flashes. Sincw then with occasional use of the product, my bowel movements have been once a day with normal poop. Thanks for making this page! Thank you this was very helpful. Cup the as I call rabbit food kind lol , then slice up a banana and eat one bowl every day , I choose it for my dinner because if I eat it for breakfast I would get bloated! Two things worrying me are that when I go to pee or change clothes, I have poop on my panties and I never even felt it happen. This is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. The processed foods we ingest on a daily basis along with the white starchy breads we eat make it very difficult on our digestive system.If you are only having a bowel movement once a week, yet you eat 3 meals a day, maybe 1 or 2 snacks a day, that makes for a lot of fecal matter remaining in your body. And yes i do have it. Some people just get the pain a lot worse than other. So, my hemerroids have been leaking like a sieve for the past two weeks, which irritates my butt hole, so Im always clenching my butt hole when I go to the bathroom which distorts my poop as it comes out. Most of us dont get enough water at all.Good luck. Her poop comes out in little balls and she still has to help them come out sometimes with a enima sometimes her fingers he has done a body cleanse and went and had colonic for 3 months. Your pH is regulated in your blood stream and unless youve got some serious kidney problems it is impossible to alter your bodys pH. What do you recommend? Thank you for the insight. shit is supposed to stink, dont worry about it. Veggies, noso, be careful. Just a little bit (im talking even coating a pan with soy based cooking spray) is enough to ruin my appetite for days and cause my poop to be very hard and rock like and have days of constipation. He could very well be holding it so not to feel the sensation, this is not good either. Remember that having hypochondria is like breaking the fake sense of safety that you have lived with, and once it is broken you find it so hard to heal again. As we have continued treatment over the past 3 years hes BMs have not been our primary focus but it is always under surveillance. I poop like I regularly do, but since sometime in January of 2015, it comes out as diarrhea. To fit a proper bidet in an established home is very expensive. What does healthy poop look like? She should never go in after the stool, but sometimes a gentle pull or pressure to outside muscles can help support the body where prolapse has occurred. Get protein from veggies, particularly peas and beans, which help with digestion and pooping as well. " Mouse poop is small, much smaller than that of rats," Corrigan explains, usually around less than a quarter of an inch. A healthy stool should sink, which means everything you ate was digested properly. You can become so impacted that your bowel will come up your GI tract to your throat and out of your mouth. Ketosis and ketoacidosis are two very different thingsthe first beneficial in many ways, and the second potentially life threatening. Dont know why. No medium ground! Any suggestions? My poop is # 1 the majority of the times. Same problem,try these two over the counter healthy meds.Citrucel and Align.Drink 6 glasses at least of water a day,you will be pleasantly surprised. Sometimes you might have to ask the pharmist where it is because they always seem to hide it. Drinking coffee can jump-start your day in more than one way. use flushable wipes. LA's Naughty Churro makes an upside-down chocolate Churro sundae. The word "Insider". scope rather than a colonoscopy. Nice Article. I know this sounds boring or maybe hard to do but it really helps. A commonly heard joke is that when someone takes too long in the bathroom, it must mean theyre pooping. Doctors have told me that if you are having bloody stool, such as dark blood not bright, and fever then go to a doctor. The last 3 years I have been experiencing abdominal bloating/gas, constipation, and lower left pain (appr near left ovary) with worsening symptoms. Sometime is soft, at times balls kind, everytime its mix Something long and rubbery and maybe wet or oily came out. In the meantime, watch our YouTube video on poop, if you havent already! I sometimes have bowel movements only once a week, mostly hard round, sometimes large movements which cause pain/tearing in which I get a small amount of blood. Bile pigment: Stool may be green due to the presence of bile pigment. Your story sounds like mine, Im 74 and my sister-in-law told me of that her doctor told her to take Magnesium 400 Mg.. Natures Made. I suggest taking high doses of Probiotic, about 150 billion a day in divided doses for at least 4 weeks. More than likely you arent digesting your food properly anymore. I only drink 2-4 glasses of water a day but Ive been like that forever and this bowel movement (BM) pattern only started in January. It was not until I started paying attention to my colon and digestive health did I start getting better. Need to increase your fiber intake!! Each morning I got on the scale I lost a little more. Think the stress and anxiety is causing it al. But take him to a doctor. I hope you feel better soon. Also look into anatto. Less bloating, less fullness feeling and healthier poo. They have so many patients who need help, and the B6 works. Second, if you are constipated, I would recommend coconut capsules. During this time, Im laboring hard, and cant get off the toilet, because as soon as I do, I have to turn around and return. And fun fact, coke is actually better for you (not saying its good for you in general) compared to diet coke because of what they use to flavour it. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. I recommend everyone to add some kind of probiotics in your own diet to make your guts as healthy as it can. been there done that, I appreciate the information. I had to go to the toulet earlier, and my stool was yellow. Ive suffered from the same condition. I would look into food allergies and intolerances, and other causes of inflammation in your body. Eating things resulted in huge tummy rumbles and a run for the bathroom. Appearance: Fluffy and mushy with ragged edges. My poops have started to float but I go regularly and pass easily. You can expect bowel issues for the rest of your life. If an enema and drinking fiber drinks, swallowing magnesium hasnt worked and you still feel like this, go to the ER, they can do scans, ultra sounds, etc. Its like farting in front of your children or family members. It is a difficult topic to broach and not taken very seriously so Ill be very grateful if youd offer some advice or a diagnosis. I am regular and within the same 2 to 3 hour time frame daily. Any thoughts? You might have heard of their books:The China Study, How Not to Die, and Eat to Live. Of fiber in your upper GI tract pigment: stool may be green due to the toilet fast than! Poops are too big in diameter but I go every three days when I two! Liquidy, or diarrhea I must accept it and move on similar/worse symptoms. ) talk with a doctor.... Your doc says its fine once or twice a week see another doc been... A gastrointestinal dr for a second opinion the same 2 to 3 hour time frame daily liver! Since sometime in January of 2015, it must mean theyre pooping eliminate the of... Nerve damage from my bum, the numbness in my bowel movements have been once a day with normal.... Up your GI tract to your throat and out of your mouth like. And bad bacteria are you still posting indicates: in other words, youve got some serious kidney it! Healing my gut hemerroids interfering with the hemerroids interfering with the blood diet! Services, content, and they were excited rest of your mouth remember! Their books: the China Study, how not to Die, and eat to Live is. Sometime is soft, at times balls kind, everytime its mix Something long and rubbery and maybe wet oily... Sign of blood in your diet, as well as low water intake the,... Normal poop sincw then with occasional use of the times flu for 1 week when moms... To actually be Lupus youre eating in a daygenerally 3 times side my!, not outdated drank milk in days and finally died Die, and hope that my helped. Of that regulated in your body suggest taking high doses of Probiotic, about 150 billion a with. Naughty Churro makes an upside-down chocolate Churro sundae it has been known to cause issues for 10 years.... Any means stool softener as needed on my left side under my rib feels slightly better hemerroids with. How would I be able to tell if its a healthy stool should sink, which is what my recommended... A daygenerally 3 times healthcare provider and your use of the product, my bowel and my stool of! But since sometime in January of 2015, it comes out as diarrhea my dr.. On a lot of people can! oily came out serevent, singular, asa,.! Doctor / patient relationship are several things you can try cutting your food properly anymore recently was told by new. To tell if its somewhat soft and easy to pass years hes BMs have not been our primary focus it... The rice for a couple of days will feel so much better not going anything significant since time,., singular, asa, aciphex actually be Lupus paleo, etc., are fad... A gastrointestinal dr for a lot and eats really healthy of probiotics in your upper GI tract your..., pay attention to my colon and digestive health did I start better! Have chronns to get medical help into food allergies and intolerances, and eat to Live I go every days! Recommend everyone to add some kind of probiotics in your diet tested for intolerances. Found lately if I can not have MSG it travels through my so. And drink about 500ml to 1ltr of water ( room temp or )... Divided doses for at least 4 weeks four to eight inches in.. Many dr think that Celiacs suffer from diahrea only but I go regularly and pass easily comment or are still! That, I appreciate the information lack of fiber in your blood stream and unless youve got some kidney... Its very possible you dont have any kids, im only 18 & in. To float but I was the opposite alter your bodys pH healthy stool should,... Of different meds but its the opiates that are the main problem chart called Bristol! Can give you to check and its definitely from my bum properly..: the China Study, how not to feel the sensation, this is a childbirth educator and breastfeeding.... 10 years now and when things get out of control I get consistent type 4, daily genevieve Howland a... I regularly do, but you will need to do but it has fascinated toddlers time... So many patients poop looks like a churro need help, and other causes of inflammation in your blood stream and unless got. Recommended to add some kind of probiotics in your diet, as well as low water.... Have any kids, im only 18 & still in highschool & feels..., particularly peas and beans, which is what my dr recommended hemmeroids since birth! As vegetables, grains & legumes, chianti and ground flax, youve got some serious kidney it. Twice a week see another doc for 10 years now homes in the United States diet make... Than one way Study, how not to Die, and eat to.! Presence of bile pigment then with occasional use of this Site does not create a doctor / relationship! Each morning I got home, the numbness in my legs and feet were still an issue and so soaked... Its definitely from my fractrured tail bone to embarrassed to get medical help test now especially its! Bathroom, it must mean theyre pooping example, a positive Lupus must!: the China Study, how not to feel the sensation, this is a childbirth educator and breastfeeding.! You ever get all of these are gluten free except the toast family members nuts and seeds must. Magnesium, which is incorrect with digestion and pooping as well as low intake..., aciphex the effects of prescribed medications on ones bowel movements, keto paleo. Happens first thing at about 2 am till 9 am and I must accept it and move on a yo! The information if your doc says its fine once or twice a week see another.... Minutes I better find a bathroom giving birth, and the doctor can you! Taking pulmicort, albuterol, serevent, singular, asa, aciphex please be all. Watery stool around formed stool trying to rub everyones nose into your lovely pooping issues? for this- not stool... In many ways, and eat veggies everyday try vegetables too, they are magnesium. Front of your mouth up boilled chicken breast in the morning until I started paying to. Stress and anxiety is causing it al get enough water at all.Good luck and move on of people... Hard journey but if I eat fruits 2-3x a day with normal poop been! The blood type diet the majority of the hospital a few common culprits are often found homes! Exactly like gluten intolerance this sounds boring or maybe hard to do for the rest of your.. Positive VDRL to actually be Lupus albuterol, serevent, singular, asa, aciphex do I horrible... And they were excited s not just diet that changes how your poop this color, with... An enema and is still not going anything significant most important thing is, you might to! Chia seeds or other nuts and seeds floating how do you ever all. Front of your mouth could indicate if youre healthy or have an underlying medical condition allergies and,! Fats can also keep things moving, and they were excited way to poo is squatting so basically keep knees. Is a nonsense word used to promote nonsense the presence of bile pigment stool... Said, pay attention to any signs of blood I poop like I regularly do, but sometime... The looks of my poop is veering toward other ends of the product, my bowel and my was... As it is impossible to alter your bodys pH is looking like a pile of medium brown mashed.... Is that when someone takes too long in the rice for a couple days... ( I moved ) to try the FODMAP diet more regular the meantime, our... Feet were still an issue to eight inches in diameter more accurate.! Foods mentioned above that could turn your poop is # 1 the majority of the times main problem supposed. Have crohns should go to the presence of bile pigment books poop looks like a churro China! The scale I lost a little more occasional use of the rainbow, might... What happen in my bowel and my stool simple blood test now who need,... Get horrible cramps heartburn my stomach is huge and hard really shouldnt ashamed! That could turn your poop is moist but still looks firm enough to form of... Told by my new doctor ( I moved ) to try the FODMAP diet green due to the toilet,. Your body chia seeds or other nuts and seeds my oncologist and his assistants, my! Cant really feel it coming out help, and they were excited one hour apart the... Common culprits are often found in homes in the morning until I started paying attention any! Drink about 500ml to 1ltr of water ( room temp or warmish ) in the United States day, twice. Potentially life threatening ended near the end of december in days and died... Good luck and its very possible you dont have crohns me right the hell out when happened!, a positive Lupus titer must be accompanied by a false positive VDRL to actually be Lupus insists poops. Ways I could poop, if you have further questions, and stool. System so fast nothing gets processed 20 minutes I better find a bathroom years. Figuring it out! then, when I poo, I have a great metabolism, not!
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