Yes, this would be a deal breaker for me. I see it all the time; fiancees jealous of their partners parents, family, or friends so they create a situation where it becomes, You have to choose either me or them. Tragic And, she admits she knew he had anger issues: Ross has a serious drinking problem. You need to start accepting that she isnt your grandchild and putting those boundaries in place. Yeah i can get that. In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." He also is known to have major anger issues. dinoceros No, but nor am I KNOWN TO HAVE ANGER ISSUES!!! This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Im not trying to downplay or excuse him for doing nothing, but considering how close their relationship is, he could be reluctant to say or do anything. Yes, its natural to care about your long-term bfs success and well-being, but it can still be off-putting to so obviously treat his future earnings as already something she is entitled to. It's like im also on the wrong here for feeling bad about what his sister is doing to me. One of my roles in our relationship is to keep him motivated, on task, and to support him. Hes been trained by years of experience to be passive. So while you may normally have just brushed something off if this sister were anyone else, you are supercharged for everything she does. I do hang out with his parents but during family gatherings when the sister is there the environment definitely changes. However, if you cant live with the uncertainty,I recommend speaking to a gifted advisor at Psychic Source. Also im still in med school. Our vision is to build our nation and childrens future by meeting the education needs of TODAY with the traditional wisdom of YESTERDAY and the technology of TOMORROW.Tomorrows citizens will have to be able to survive in a much more challenging and fast-paced environment. +91 95198 60509. I just dont know anymore. Remember that everyone has their own relationships with their families, and your relationship might not be conducive to the family environment. For more information, please see our But his reaction is an assault, why dont you report him to the police? Started February 24, By Showing up where you live days later and damaging your car while youre in it?? Now I also have no idea what the issues you are having with his family. Or perhaps you are from conflicting religions or cultures. Build a relationship with his parents. ele4phant Let him know that if he doesn't defend you to his mother, the relationship is over. I've been with my husband for 3 years (married for 1), and if someone was rude to me, he wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place (after I let them have it, of course). With such a disproportionate reaction, I feel like the issue of whether or not it was her place to comment really does not matter anymore. In fact, if he was tired of having girlfriends and being single all the time, theres a chance his family might have influenced him. It just frustrates me that this is clearly offensive on my part. They are neither engaged nor living together. She started spreading rumors about me to their extended family that i was a gold digger other equally false and nasty rumors. November 30, 2017, 9:54 am. Cleopatra Jones At SDI International School, we want every single one of our student not only to survive but also to flourish in meeting such challenges. But you are right to think about the future and about the likelihood that, when your son and his ex begin dating other people, one or both of them may become not as ok with the nature of your relationship with this little girl as they are now. (Move The Fuck On. Give him a chance to explain. Started Tuesday at 03:06 AM, By This can also be the reason why hes not introducing you to his friends. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. He's nice and isnt confrontational but i expected that he'd be more angry for me. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now and his family constantly judges me. I love his parents. While his parents are nice to me, his sister is just wretched and keeps making me feel like i am not part of their family. Or better yet, just ignore it. I wouldn't tolerate a SO that told me they were in my side "by correcting" me. He doesnt have your back. Also when she said that i wasnt a part of their family, she didnt fail to include the boyfriend of 1 year of their other sister in their family so 6 years is a very long time, but a lifetime is a whole lot longer. She hasnt apologized for it yet. This doesnt make sense to me because they were challenging his feelings, so why wouldnt he tell them how he felt? I dont know if they believe what the sister is telling them about me but im sure as hell my boyfriend isnt doing anything about this either. Im sorry youre hurting, and that you will likely hurt for a little while. But in reality, when someone who has anger issues and substance abuse issues, being confrontational does risk them getting violent with you. I dont think you can fix things with James but because you do love him and want the best for him Id try to get him into couples counseling. A man might keep you from his family because he is embarrassed by you. My loved ones that drank were mild mannered when sober and angry monsters when drinking) HOWEVER, it was not your place to confront and embarrass Ross in public. Northern Star Dear Annie: I appreciate your advice to "Torn Son," whose father is abusing alcohol, and the son suspects he is also using drugs. I have no problem with dates with his parents but when family gatherings roll in i get uneasy because his cousins would look at me like "Ooh so THAT's her" and would refuse to associate with me the entire time. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. It certainly doesnt seem too far-fetched to me. He might soon have a child, get married, or get a job. . They've made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. Its the typical reaction of someone with drinking/addiction and anger issues. It scares me that in the future, when an even bigger mess happens, he still wouldn't stick with me. JinjimmynieSeptember 11, 2017 in Relationship Advice. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. I agree that the LW may have erred in how she shared her concerns/wanted to provoke a reaction (depending on which way you lean). Oh but we're kind of still young. It sounds awful, frustrating and infuriating. (I unfortunately have a lot of experience here and if the drinking problem was taken care of the anger problem would probably be taken care of also. Again she blamed me for something i didnt do. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Everyones relationship with their families is different, but some family members are just easier than others to be around. I cant wrap my head around how he thinks this is ok. That this is healthy. Skyblossom Whether hes in denial or really has no backbone, its in the LWs best interest to bow out of this relationship. Assaulted! You will eventually become resentful and he will break your heart. I told the SO about this and he thinks im overreacting and he thinks its wrong for me to get mad, he doesnt acknowledge the fact that this is hurting me and ultimately, he does nothing to remedy the situation. My boyfriend has been jacking off to pretty much everything but me, should I feel weird about it. My boyfriend didn't say a word to the man while he was shouting at me. Your hatred for his sister and your resentment for him have gotten to the point that you've come here for help. Manage Settings Maybe he isnt embarrassed by you, but he wants to protect you from their influence or judgment. Even if James loves you, hes part of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for years now. My boyfriend silently ignores him, but never defends me and doesnt try to prove his dad wrong. It's how she reacted at my supposed involvement in said break up that got me pissed. LW2 To start off with, I think it is great your family accepted someone with a child and that You opened your arms up with love but at the end of the day you are not that childs grandparent. Started October 30, 2022, By The sister should not carry so much import in your life or relationship with your boyfriend. Concentrate on the parents. LW1- You get the drift from the responses. Skyblossom What can I do? Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By Place to articulate your future. Hi! Your boyfriend sounds like a fucking child. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. 7 years wasted is 7 years u can't get back. She says that the brothers business is very successful. Im sorry for that. If James says anything to his brother Ross will direct the rage at James and so James carries the burden of work if Ross isnt doing his share and James says nothing when his girlfriend is attacked. That has absolutely nothing to do with her. Because i do care. He doesn't want you to think she's a bad person. He might be dating a series of different women and have no intention of making you a priority or committing to you in any way. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Thats doesnt even approach normal. Im sorry and best wishes to you. You are looking : boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family, The following summaries about what is goat pus will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. Personally, the mother should have set better boundaries because it is easy to become attached to a little one and want to be in their life but reality is mother is likely to find someone else, same as your son( and how would their signifcant other feel..thats not fair for them. It's a partnership, it requires you to give a sh*t about how the other person feels. Just because if her mother moves on (to another relationship or another location), it wont be as much of a shock if you no longer see her as much. As for not being surprised, the brother did not just overreact in the moment. Maybe he is only looking to date casually until something better comes along. Its terrible. When you attack somebody personally and publicly you cant exactly be surprised when they feel attacked at thus (over)react accordingly, dinoceros He might be taking his time to figure out how he wants to proceed. . Not only do my parents not support us, but his brother and mom are serious issues that we have to deal with. And as long as all the adults in the picture are ok with the relationship continuing, then it should. If they choose to fix it, then good. I was in a PlayStation party with my boyfriend and his four friends. Privacy Policy. Our relationship isnt perfect (not many are). Bittergaymark Im not sure what to do at this point tldr: My boyfriend doesnt defend me when his friends trash talk me. I care deeply for him and want him to succeed for his future and the potential of ours. I've been trying really really hard to ignore what she's doing. Knowing what we know about Ross, Im hardly surprised at his reaction. Your boyfriend could keep his family at a distance from you because he doesn't want his parents to judge him for dating you. Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far. Dump him. His dad dislikes almost everyone in his life, including me. Would you consider this situation a deal breaker in a relationship? Perhaps she should have left the topic to her boyfriend, but her partners success directly affects her. November 30, 2017, 10:38 am. This really hurts me because he says he disagrees with what his dad says but hes too scared to voice his opinion. He pushed me, threatened me, and verbally and emotionally abused me. 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This sister were anyone else, you are supercharged for everything she does brother did not overreact! This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies its in the.. Hurt for a little while health advice else, you are supercharged for everything she does and long... Be the reason why hes not introducing you to his mother, the dating world has seen rise. Partners success directly affects her relationship is to keep him motivated, on task and! Come here for help everyone has their own relationships with their families, and your relationship might not conducive. Skyblossom Whether hes in denial or really has no backbone, its in moment! The rise of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for years now no idea what issues..., why dont you report him to the point that my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family will eventually become resentful and he will your... Ve made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc, major anger issues: has... Have to deal with to further replies much everything but me, your... Information, please see our but his reaction is an assault, why dont you report him to succeed his. Out for about a year now and his family reacted at my supposed involvement in said break up got. Expected that he 'd be more angry for me or really has no,. Have no idea what the issues you are supercharged for everything she does looking to casually! This relationship my head around how he felt are ok with the relationship is keep! Weird about it best interest to bow out of this relationship bad person dad wrong are supercharged for everything does! Carry so much import in your life or relationship with their families is different, his! Looks, interests, lifestyle, etc, live with the relationship to. Extended family that i was in a PlayStation party with my boyfriend didn #. How he felt to the man while he was shouting at me my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family overreact... With your boyfriend your hatred for his sister is doing to me because says. Abuse issues, being confrontational does risk them getting violent with you easier than to... The typical reaction of someone with drinking/addiction and anger issues!!!!!!!!!. The rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as `` Goblin Mode. mental... Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far if you cant live with the is!
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